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12 July 2006 @ 12:10 pm
I was wondering...if they invented a cure for people with disabilities would you take the cure?I have come to accept that I am non verbal and partially crippled and I will probally be this way throughout my life,but I do wonder what it would be like if I were to speak again and walk freely without the help of a cane.That is not all I have,I am also Bipolar and OCD.

But still...what would YOU do?

Volim što sam lezbejka zato što su žene lepepthalogreen on July 12th, 2006 06:18 pm (UTC)
I don't know. I don't mind the OCD in some ways, because it helps me... that is, I can use it to make myself do other things. If I make a ritual of something, I'm more likely to do it. If I promise myself x minutes of ritualising, I can get just about anything done. But it would be nice to have more free time, OCD takes up so much of my time, I spend so much time doing nonesense. And I'd like to get rid of the facial tics.

If there was a cure for being multiple, well I wouldn't want the others gone. Some of you have met my kid lydiabutterfly. She's a good girl and if a cure for multiplicity meant she had to vanish, well she'd be missed and a good number of other good people would be missed. But a cure for the disfunctional parts of it, losing time, not getting stuff done, we're interested in that. And the trauma issues that caused our multiplicity, we'd like to work through those. But not a magic wand cure, and nothing about undoing what happened to us, just getting to a good point where we're okay about it.

Lydia's the nonverbal one, but the rest of us have some problems too. I don't know what Lydia would say about it, she'll see this when she checks her friends page. But I would like to be able to talk on the phone without anxiety, to not stutter, to be able to express myself verbally the way I can express myself in writing. But I don't have it half as bad as she does. She doesn't have a mouth inside at all, but she can sign and communicate with us.

I would like the PTSD gone, it's more trouble than its worth and I don't see the point of it.

But I wouldn't change anything that made me "me". I'd like to get rid of the things that shaped me that I don't need anymore, while still remaining me, like the PTSD or some of the OCD. But I don't want to change who I am or what happened to me.

The others may agree or disagree on various points, they may want things I'd discard or discard things I want and I bet some of them would just like to undo everything right back to the beginning. But that's that.

Lydialydiabutterfly on July 12th, 2006 10:23 pm (UTC)
if i could talk so i could make more friends.